13 deep questions to ask yourself when you feel envy

  1. Is there something in my past that is making me feel inadequate now?
  2. Is my sense of worth determined by what somebody else has?
  3. In this moment, is it true for me that if you have something then that means someone else can't have it too?
  4. How can I make myself priority instead of always putting everyone else first?
  5. Do I resent or envy the person for having what I want?
  6. Do I feel vulnerable, and envy is just another way to keep myself feeling safe?
  7. Do I feel threatened by the success of others?
  8. Did I feel jealousy because it’s a reminder of my own inadequacy?
  9. Am I feeling very concerned that somebody has something I want? What do I see in this person that I don’t have?
  10. How can I get more of the things that make me happy?
  11. How can I improve my skills to get what I want?
  12. What do I want to have that is similar to what I am envious of?
  13. What can I use to replace what is making me feel envy?

9 tips on how to deal with envy

  1. Understand the social context for envy — it's a result of seeing others who are better off than you.
  2. Seek to understand the person with which you are envious of.
  3. Recognize that envy is a natural human emotion. Know that it is a symptom of vulnerability and insecurity.
  4. Learn to relate to people who are better off than you, in the way they do.
  5. Find an outlet for your envy — write about it, talk about it with someone — so that it doesn't take control of you.
  6. Challenge the underlying belief fueling your envy. Apply cognitivebehavioral therapy to dispute and change your thoughts. For example, if you are feeling envious of a person's appearance, you may want to make a list of qualities that you like about yourself.
  7. Be wary of how envy might take hold in your life, and don't allow it to consume you.
  8. Be grateful for what you have, rather than what you lack.
  9. Acknowledge that envy is about feeling bad for what you don't have.

How envy affects you

Envy is the feeling or emotion which occurs when someone is not happy with what they have, and they see that someone else has a better quality of life than them. A person may feel envy if their friend gets more attention from their parents, has a better house, or lives in a nicer neighborhood. In business, envy can be felt when people compare themselves to others who are better off. In the corporate world, an employee who is earning very little money may envy another employee who earns significantly more money.