8 deep questions to ask yourself when you feel rejection

  1. What happened during the day that made me feel rejected?
  2. What did I want or need that wasn't met?
  3. How would I feel if I didn't have this thought or feeling of rejection?
  4. Do those feelings come up often? When do they come up? How do they come up for me?
  5. Did someone not return my phone call when I was expecting them to?
  6. Did I reach out to someone and they did not reply quickly enough for me?
  7. Did I have a conversation with a friend and they said something that made me feel uncomfortable?
  8. Did I experience an interaction with an acquaintance where they seemed less interested in talking to me?

10 tips on how to deal with rejection

  1. Try to understand the other person’s point of view. This is a good coping strategy because it can help you see rejection in a new light and get a healthier perspective on the situation.
  2. Remind yourself that the people who rejected you probably didn’t know what they were missing out on.
  3. Rejection is a risk worth taking if you want a shot at being accepted by someone someday.
  4. Practice positive affirmations to praise yourself for what you do have instead of what you think you don't. For example, "I am a good person," "I am worthy," "This rejection is only temporary."
  5. People are just as afraid of rejection as you are and that’s why they have to get rid of the feeling before they experience it.
  6. Learn from the past. If you feel devastated by rejection, you will have a more difficult time learning from it. There are many people who have been through worse and survived so take the time to refocus on what you are grateful for and make changes to do your best in other aspects of your life.
  7. If you have low selfesteem tell yourself that it is OK to feel this way, and remind yourself that not everyone can be accepted or liked by everyone. However, with selflove and time, your selfesteem will improve on its own.
  8. Find out what is missing so that you can try again later with someone else who may be more receptive to your offer or proposal. This could mean adapting your offer or proposal to fit their needs better or changing your circumstances.
  9. Figure out what dynamics led to the rejection and think about how you can change them next time. If it is an automatic «no», revisit your request with a different person or company. If it is a choice about something personal, be mindful of how you are expressing yourself in the future.
  10. Ask questions, in order to better understand why they don’t want to be involved with you. This may help you overcome the pain of rejection and actually learn something from the experience at the same time!

How rejection affects you

When people experience rejection, it is important that they understand the cause. It is common to feel rejection when our needs are not met. Failure to meet a need can be frustrating and cause us distress. Rejection is what I feel when my needs are not met and failure to meet my need can cause me distress.